"Sybil"

So Saturday night I watched the remake of Sybil. I wanted to tape it without commercials, so sat here at my computer and did other things while the movie was on. I did stop what I was doing at times to give it my undivided attention (is that an oxymoron?). When I go back and watch it with no other distractions I may have a different opinion about it, but based on what I saw Saturday night I wasn't that crazy about it.

I have been pondering why I feel that way. I tried writing about it, talked with my T about it, but still feel fairly inarticulate about it. Something simply didn't resonate with me about the way it was done.

By far, the best movie that I've ever seen about MPD/DID was A Shattered Mind (which was originally called The Terror Within) starring Heather Locklear. Yes, Heather Locklear. I have watched the movie at least ten times, and each time I've come away with great admiration for how she handled the role. She was amazing in her portrayal as to what being multiple looks like. I just love the movie. It resonates with me big time; I thought while watching it, that's exactly how it is for me, the way she switches, the way she opens a door to one room and ends up in another room two days later.

Like I said, maybe it's because I just watched Sybil in a rather choppy fashion. I felt as though something was missing, but I couldn't say what it was. The only thing I can say is that talking with a multiple friend today helped me clarify one thing, and that was that in A Shattered Mind I felt as though I were in "Susie's" skin. As though things that were happening were happening to me. With Sybil, I felt more like an observer. My friend also suggested that in order to explain DID to the general public the directors had to resort to having the actress do the severe switches/mannerisms/changes of clothes. They didn't do that nearly as much in A Shattered Mind.

I am a very subtle switcher most of the time. My therapist will notice such things as the blink of an eye, one eye getting smaller, a slight voice change or something similar that, unless you know me well, you'd never notice. The few friends that I've told about being multiple had absolutely no idea that I was one before I told them.

Like I said... I am reserving judgment on this. I will watch Sybil again in its entirety again and see if I change my mind. I could totally change my mind on it. Maybe I'm more in contact with those of us who are more skeptical. Who knows? I wonder how much of the movie I totally missed which may have skewed my opinion.

Stay tuned...