I Lost My Cat

I woke up yesterday to find that my elderly cat was dying. She'd been fine the day before; eating well, cuddling with me. I was in shock. We took her to the vet who said the kindest thing to do would be to put her to sleep.

Gone. Just like that. I've had her for so long, and her quirks, the way she ruled our home, was just part of my life that I loved. And now she's gone.

No one to jump onto my lap after dinner like she's done every single night. No one to whine that her food dish is getting empty.

I have two other cats. One had nothing to do with the one that died, but the second one was her buddy. They ate together, curled up together in front of the fire or on the couch. She wanders through the house crying for her friend.

I can't isolate this from all the other grief I'm already feeling. I vacillate between numbness and tears.

I feel like it's all just too much to handle.

I know God will see me through.

But I am walking a very dark road right now.